 |
 |
|
|
Written by Richard Hamon Many adults have some form of Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD), a common problem among children and adolescents. The disorder makes it difficult to focus, pay attention and get and stay organized. Dealing with people who have attentional problems and /or hyperactivity can be a real challenge. And it can require the patience of Job. Thus, relationships are often a challenge for someone who has AD/HD, and the disorder can significantly impact a marriage. Just think about the problems inherent in conducting a relationship with someone who has trouble sitting still, keeping his mind from wandering, and hearing what you say. Adults and AD/HD Many adults have gone undiagnosed for years and others develop symptoms relatively late in life. Those who have the disorder experience AD/HD-related problems in most areas of their lives, including their jobs and relationships, making it hard for them to pick up on non-verbal cues in conversations or to resist the many distractions that abound in most work or personal environments. There are three basic kinds of AD/HD: - one involves mostly problems with attention; - the second involves mostly problems of hyperactivity; - and the third involves both. Actual symptoms of Attention Deficit include difficulty in staying focused on a task, problems paying close attention to details, not listening (mind wandering), difficulty in finishing tasks and getting organized, forgetfulness and getting distracted easily. Symptoms of the hyperactivity side of AD/HD include fidgeting, leaving one's seat frequently, running about or climbing excessively, talking excessively, and interrupting. Often the person seems to be driven by a motor. In some folks this is a very exhausting and trying condition. In others, the symptoms are less severe and don't interfere with their work and personal lives as much. THE IMPACT OF AD/HD People who suffer from AD/HD experience difficulty in all areas of their lives. Job performance, personal life and scholastic activities are impacted by AD/HD. When symptoms are severe it can be a debilitating disorder. Those with AD/HD may not achieve as much in life as they are capable. Or they may stop working on a goal because it seems impossible. This may happen right when the individual comes close to finishing a difficult task. Oddly enough, right when the end is within reach, he or she may quit! Many goals are hard to reach when you are disorganized, lousy with details and tend to avoid tasks that require sustained effort! Those with AD/HD tend to avoid complicated tasks because they seem impossible or are viewed as too time consuming. The person may not believe he or she can maintain focused, unwavering attention for the length of time required. And so they don't even try. Persons with AD/HD may lack self-confidence and avoid situations in which their symptoms may be exposed, or those situations in which they are certain of feeling frustrated and overcome with hopeless details. All in all, this is a costly disorder that has been misunderstood for years. AD/HD places a strain on intimate relationships and can lead to serious marital problems. The non-AD/HD partner may feel like he/she is never heard or understood, and may feel that the AD/HD spouse just doesn't care about him/her. The spouse with AD/HD symptoms may be forgetful, absent minded, intolerant of delicate social situations and downright impatient. Also, the AD/HD spouse often fails to hear what the other spouse says, even when it's critical that they talk, such as in times of crisis. And, impulsive remarks and behaviors can wreck a marriage. All of these symptoms can take a toll on a marriage. To be exact, many marriages fail at least in part because one or both spouses have untreated AD/HD. Dealing With ADHD 1. Getting a leg up on AD/HD starts with finding out if you have it, and what type you have. You may seek an evaluation from your family physician, a psychiatrist or therapist who is trained to deal with AD/HD. 2. Gain an understanding of the condition and employ strategies to help you deal with it. Do some research and get help from a therapist or coach. 3. If you are married and you have AD/HD, you will need a sympathetic and understanding spouse for your marriage to succeed. Someone who can help you to work with your symptoms and do your best to control them. Communicate! 4. Medication can help many people (young and old) experience a new level of success in their lives, and is often recommended for those who meet the criteria for diagnosis. Conclusions AD/HD affects all areas of a person's life, and may create difficulties at work, school and home. The ADD-marriage or ADD-relationship requires close and constant communication. It takes more effort and ingenuity to succeed at an AD/HD marriage or relationship than the average one, and requires an understanding of the disorder. Successful relationships will face these problems and get necessary support. Richard Hamon is a professional therapist and coach with over 25 years of experience. His business, Relationships For Success Coaching, helps people to improve their relationships and enjoy success in all areas of their lives. When Honeymoon Is Over | Divorce Communicating With The Kids | Recovering Problem Relationships | | Return Home | FAQ Page | Contact Us | Excerpts | Privacy Policy | Affiliates | Richard's Articles | About Us | |
||
 |
 |
